Repentence

Dear God,

I know that the bible says Godly sorrow worketh a repentence never to be repented of again. I undestand that this means that I can't ask for forgiveness and turn to you to solve my problems when I keep doing things that I should not do. I do understand that with your blessing you expect gratitude and appreciation on my part. I also understand that no gratitude is shown if I continue to find myself in the same situations.

Lord I need help. I honestly do need some help. It's no longer about me trying to get out of a situation. I see myself getting out of control. I see myself being overcome by anger and grief. Lord show me myself. Lord help me to see me. Help me to fix me. Lord work on me today. Right now God give me the help that I need.

Lord, I love you. Lord, you love me. I know this to be true. There is no reason for me to allow these things to take over me. I have a problem. I have a problem. I need help. I need you to help me to overcome these anger issues that I have. I need you to protect me Lord. Protect my family. Lord wrap your arms around me, my husband and my children.

Help me to see that you have your hands on me and my life. Help me to understand that my family will be taken care of. Help me to see that my children will prosper. Regardless of my mistakes Lord, you love me. I am a good person and a great mother and wife. I'm going to start today showing you that I'm worthy and gracious of you love and blessing. Lord your mercy is not in vain.

LIfe

Okay, so what does it mean when you look back on major life decisions and wonder if you made the right choices? Like what if I'd choosen a different college? What if I'd married a different person? What if I can just choosen a totally different route? I use to believe that everything happened for a reason and that the things that seem to be mistakes helped to shape our futures for the better. So, if there are not mistakes and everything works together for the good, why am I constantly feeling like I've made mistakes and I need to try and fix things now.

For example, I do honestly believe that you can marry anyone. I believe that marriage is a commitment and you can grow to love a person. Your life with someone really is what you make of it. However, what are you to do when you're the only person that is commited? What happens when the other person doesn't care to get along or to try and make the relationship work? Do you stick around, ride the waves to calmer water or do you consider it to be a sign of turbulent weather and run for the shore? Do people ever change? You cannot control the actions of others, you can only control your reaction.

I've always been told that you're going to always have problems and situations that you're made to deal with so running is only going to make it harder. I do also believe that we keep dealing with the same situations over and over again until we learn our lessons. So finding new friends, getting a new job and even looking for a new spouse doesn't solve anything. There is no guarantee that the next situation will be any better. Go through the test learn your lesson and move on with your life.